We are all children of God first - and brothers and sisters, and wives and husbands, to one another second. In this big neighborhood of family and relationships, sometimes people forget who they are. Often when we are in pain, we lash out as a protective mechanism, and the ripple effect triggers hostilities and bad feelings. And our first instinct is to distance ourselves from the pain and what caused it. But relationships of all kinds have problems at times and create pain. And it's ok to feel anger, even Jesus did, but then what? What are the best choices to safely navigate triggers and these big emotions?
Reaction to pain is immediate. For example, we don’t linger with our hand on a hot stove and decide a course of action. We immediately jump into action and remove our hand, often with a expletive word or two. Are we then going to blame the stove for being hot and kick it? Some do. Others may believe there is something faulty in the design or function of the stove, and replace it, whether that is actually true or not. Yet others see getting burned as a reminder to be more careful the next time so they don’t get hurt. They appreciate their chosen stove for the role it plays in their lives, whether it be a warm fireplace or a stovetop burner, and learn to treat it more carefully and cautiously. They know there are beneficial ways to behave around it and ways not to. There are always choices in our reactions, even when we are in pain.
There Are Always Triggers - And Choices
Love and forgiveness is an anointing salve, like a burn cream, in these situations. Even when we get burned, or have scars from previous burns, we can choose to put this ointment on, give it a bit of time, and heal. This doesn’t mean ignoring the hot stove or pretending you never got injured. And this doesn’t mean living with a broken device. This means reinforcing any precautions you need to live safely around it, like making sure it is well maintained and any messes spilled on it is cleaned up, even the dried, caked on ones that may have been ignored for way too long. Sometimes a deep cleaning is necessary to keep things in good working order. And when the old dirt is pried up, throw it away, don’t save it in a bag so you can open it and complain again about how bad the stove was. Love lets it go.
In truth, most of us have had experiences being the hot stove or the one burned by it. It’s ok to get angry! It’s ok to take quick action! It’s ok to have big emotions! It’s ok to express yourself and have different ideas than those around you. But what you do with the heat afterwards is important. “Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity.” (Ephesians 4:26, 27)
It's Ok to Feel Anger - But Then What?
Even Jesus was angry and forcefully overturned the tables of moneychangers who were overcharging people in the temple. He even called them names. He showed righteous indignation over what was happening. He was in pain, and then he let it go. (Matthew 21:12,13) The scriptures show his emphasis was about teaching and healing - that was the focus for where he chose to spend the bulk of his time. He did not base his ministry around going from temple to temple upturning tables. He chose to funnel his energy into helping people make better choices, speaking to them from fields and homes, and yes, even more temples - reminding them to love God, and one another as themselves. (Matthew 22:36-40) He didn’t allow his pain to distract him.
Being aware of triggers for yourself and others shows appreciation for personal space and the inherent uniqueness of each person’s story, including your own. Discernment of your own past injuries, or where others have injuries, is important. Be extra careful in words or actions when working by the stove. This is true whether it be relatives, spouses or national borders. Don’t pick at the differences, look for the similarities. Being careful with one another will gradually create a relationship of mutual understanding and trust.
This is crucial for when accidents happen - which they will - and someone ends up getting burned and having quick reactions or saying harsh words. Instead of distancing from the source of pain, trust brings both sides together to empathize and heal the wounds - instead of it escalating and tearing apart the relationship that was being built. Choose empathy over retaliation, without the need to prove yourself right. Accept responsibility for your actions and forgive how that may have triggered someone else and their actions. Don’t focus on who did what first. That doesn’t matter. Be first in showing kindness in love, especially when someone is in pain. Move closer instead of moving away. Take the lead in honoring one another. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Forgiveness for Self, Others, & the Situation
This is where forgiveness comes in - for ourselves and others, and for the situation itself. Prayer helps, and healing the injuries with God’s input is readily available, fast-acting, and produces less scaring. All of us are imperfect and fail many times. But we also can succeed many more times and have happy and peaceful relationships.
Indeed, “where there is no wood, the fire goes out.” (Proverbs 26:20) “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another….Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:14-18) END 2024 (C)Tiffany Snow
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About the Author: "I'm Blessed Tiffany and I have information for you!" Tiffany Snow is an experiencer of the Holy Stigmata and several near-death experiences. Modern Christian Mystic, Miracle Healer, Spiritual Teacher. She shares answers from God that humanity is asking, to help each of us remember who we are, and who He is too. Blessed Tiffany and her husband Fr. Billy Clark are grassroots, this allows them to speak freely without financial or religious restriction about everything God shares, no matter where his children are on their path. Pay-It-Forward Distant Healing Prayer, Articles and Videos with unique information for our times. God Info. | www.BlessedTiffanySnow.com
